i'm scared to get close and I hate being alone →Full Name: Spencer Lee Griffin
→Age: 21 years old
→Gender: Male
→Date Of Birth: November 20, 1986
→Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
→Theme Song: Can You Feel My Heart (Bring Me The Horizon)
→Face Claim: Oliver Sykes
the higher I get the lower I sink →Physical Description: Spencer is an overall skinny and slender man. His build seems to add to his height, making him look taller than he is, 5'11''. His hair is dark brown, cut long past his jaw and touching his shoulders. Bangs sweep across his forehead, the ends of his hair forming into casual curls. His eyes are warm hazel tinged with green. His wardrobe is ranging in different clothing; from flannels to sports jerseys. Spencer has countless tattoos, decorating his body from arm to arm, too many to count all individually.
I can't drown my demons they kow how to swim →Personality: Spencer is a generally depressive, childlike, and timid man, and tends to let his disorder dominate his behavior. Spencer's hallucinations center around colors and numbers, personified as he interprets them. His main hallucination is a grey man he refers to as 'Victor',(the personified grey) who tends to govern his choices in a threatening manner, from telling him to attempt actions detrimental to his health or a random good deed. Due to the fact that he perceives his hallucinations as colors and numbers, he uses colors of numbers to describe those he meets. For example, an energetic person may be described as a 1 or yellow in his eyes. He is generally quiet, and speaks only when necessary. When he does speak, he has the tendency to jumble his words and not completely communicate his point in a correct manner. Spencer can have trouble discerning his hallucinations and delusions from reality, leaving him generally disconnected. He has a hard time processing potentially harmful or helpful relationships with others, and may move too fast with a relationship, or avoid communication or relationship development completely. His delusions are not very often occurring, but happen at any give time and are quite random and very outlandish, such as reasons for not going outside or going a certain place or a certain time. Spencer has the tendency to forget how to keep up on basic personal hygiene. He has been known to wear the same outfit for over a week, and go a large amount of days without showering. He needs to be reminded to keep up on these activities on a daily basis. He greatly fears going insane beyond recognition, and worsening over time. Spencer is prone to random, very unpredictable and violent outbursts not usual for his personality. These bouts of violence are hard to control, but thankfully do not occur often.
→Likes: Blue, he has an odd fixation with blue and anything he perceives as being a blue, such as blue personalities; solitude; quiet/moderately loud people; writing; cold weather .
→Dislikes: television; random outbursts; loud people; being forced to do something; being alone in the dark.
→Strengths: generally quiet; writing;
→Weaknesses: his disorder; random outbursts;
→Fears: the dark; going insane.
→History: When Spencer was young, he lived with both of his parents in Utah. When he was 4, his sister, Delilah was born. He doesn't remember his father very vividly or at all for that matter. His parents had never gotten along totally, and spilt apart after a few years of dysfunction the same year Delilah was born. Looking for new job opportunities and a new start, the family of three moved to California. Spencer and Delilah's mother worked constantly to support them, and enrolled the two in nursery school and regular school when the time had come. When Spencer was at the age of 7 and Delilah was, his mother had to move to northern California with them due to her job. Before, at Spencer's previous school, he was quite popular, yet as soon as he attended the new school, his social situation was exactly opposite. Kids outcast him, and bullied him physically, and left him broken and irritable. When he got home, he bullied his younger sister, thinking that perhaps this would help him heal his own hurt. Delilah took her brother's verbal abuse in a hurtful manner. Again, when Spencer was 11 and Delilah was 7, the family moved back to their old town, and resumed school there. Spencer, seeming relieved, found that everyone had changed, and treated him with the same distaste as his old school in Northern California. He still bullied Delilah, who had also discovered readjusting was challenging. When Spencer was 15 and Delilah was 11, Delilah committed suicide, due to school and family problems. Spencer's mental health spiraled negatively as a result. At the age of 17, Spencer was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and barely graduated high school. He was taken care of by his mother for quite a few years, until she found she could not care for him as much as she wished she could, looking for a mental insitution where she believed he would be in better care.